I'm bored.. and there's nothing to do here, so I think I'll write a blog entry.
Only.. there's nothing really I can think of to write about. And Saul and Jack (not their real names) are behind me arguing about the classification and content of certain layout drawings. Saul, the boss, he wants to organize all of our drawings in a way that would enable us to find any drawing with content specific to the search we are trying to perform. For instance, If I want to look at Cake Philly, I don't want to see just the last job, I want to see EVERY job. Why I would want to see that, I have no idea, but Saul does. It's actually not that bad an idea, if you don't count the fact that it will probably cost the company tens of thousands of dollars to do. But, you see, what will happen is this: He'll ask Jack to do it, and Jack will agree. But then 2 weeks down the line Saul will forget about it, and so will Jack. And 3 months from now someone won't be able to find a drawing and Saul will yell at Jack for not having some sort of system in place and Jack will convince Saul that he had decided that it wasn't worth it, afterall, and the whole thing will start all over again. So it goes. All this has happened before, and all this will happen again. Da dum da dum da dum.
This chick I'm friends with, We'll call her Kirsten. A while back she posted a couple of her modeling shots on FB. (She has since taken them down) They were a bit racy, so of course I had to investigate further. Nothing outright pornographic or anything.. tasteful pin up shots, you know? No nudity. So I found her, and them, on Model Mayhem.com And after looking around on the site for a while, I saw that you could sign up as a Photoshop person. And I thought, I'm good at Photoshop, I'll try it out. What the hell, right? I've only ever photoshopped self portraits, and you have to submit your work in order for your profile to be approved. Well I submitted a few of my really good ones, and got denied. I won't say it was a huge hit to my confidence, because the stuff I submitted was nowhere near the normal stuff you find on that site, but it was a bit bruised. I mean.. I thought my stuff was pretty good, you know? If I can turn myself into a lizard monster or insert myself into a scene from Battlestar Galactica, I'm pretty sure I can clone stamp out zits on a model's face and soften the edges of her knobbly knees, you know? It bothers me. And I'm tempted to take some pictures of a subject other than myself and photoshop the hell out of it just to show goddamned Model Mayhem.com that I can do it and then just delete my profile right after I make it. But I probably won't. It's not that I'm scared.. I'm just lazy. That's how I roll.
So I just got back from Autocrat in RI, where everything, including, now, me, smells like coffee. It was delectable.
It's a funny thing about going on site somewhere. It's great when you stay there until, say, 2pm. Then you can just go home justifiably thinking to yourself, "Well, 3 and a half hours is almost a full day." And then, if that doesn't quite sit well, reassuringly telling yourself that you'll most likely work a little more when you get home knowing that you're not, under any circumstances, going to do that.
But when you leave at 11, having gotten there at 9:30, mind, it's a little harder to convince yourself of that. Perhaps, if you were alone you would do it, if not only because everyone back at the office thinks you'll be at the site all day. However, when you're with someone else, it's harder. Even if that someone else is not going back to the office, you know he calls there quite a bit. So finishing early is just as bad, if not worse, than finishing a little later than you had originally anticipated.
So here I sit, with literally an hour's worth of work to do, until 5, all because the last person who worked at Autocrat did an exceptional job. Say La Vee.
So I saw this video the other night. I just sort of stumbled upon it as I do most of my porn. It was a bukkake video. Nothing special. This American girl sat on the floor pretending to enjoy the fact that 7 or 8 Japanese guys were pulling on their undersized wangs getting ready to nut all over her face. Like I said.. nothing special.
ANYWAY. They jizz.. and she moans and everything and pretends she's all into it even though you know she's thinking, "This is gonna take forever to get out of my hair."
But then.. then they start peeing on her. And I won't say she was surprised, because she wasn't, but suddenly this look came over her face. These guys are pissing all over her face and in her hair and in her mouth. And they're all laughing and everything. And she just looks like.. sad. She looked sad. She looked like she was thinking about all the dreams she had when she was a little girl. Wanting to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or, more probably, an actress. And through a series of unfortunate events, here she was getting peed on by 8 Japanese guys with tiny dicks.. on the internet. At what point do you think these girls ask themselves, "Where did I go wrong? At what point did my life become about humiliating myself for all the internet to see?"
It was the most depressing thing I've seen in a long time.
As the sound of soft violin music wafts out of the speakers of my laptop. John, from behind me, turns around in amazement and wonder and says:
"Is.. is that culture? Do I hear culture coming out of your computer?"
To which I replied,
"Not really.. it's the Legend of Zelda theme song."
And then I thought.. Who the hell can I tell that to who would truly appreciate it? And then I remembered this blog.. which I never post in. And I thought.. well.. why the hell not. So here we are.
I was thinking today about blogs. (I admit it was because I was reading the only blog I still read.. you know who you are.) And how I used to have them and how I loved to just write and write and write. And I don't do that anymore. Maybe it's because nobody ever read it. Or maybe it's because of innappropriate comments when people did read it that didn't go over well with the missus. Or maybe it's just because I'm a lazy fuck. But whatever the reason, I miss having an outlet. Somewhere to type when I get pissed, or moody, or bored, or happy, even. And I miss that. A lot. Almost nobody read it, it's true, but that's ok, because the Internet could read it if it wanted to.. and I guess, somehow, that's the point. My wife asked me one time why I just don't keep a written journal or whatever. And I tried it, I did, and I hated it. And then I thought, well maybe it's because I like typing better than writing, so I tried that too.. but somehow, knowing I wasn't going to post it anywhere made it seem.. Pointless somehow. Not that this isn't pointless. It probably is. There's probably only one person who'll read this, and I doubt she'll do it for very long once she reads this. Ha ha.
Anyway. This is the start of a new blog.. if you don't count the post from a year ago that I can't bring myself to delete.
I walked outside this morning and it was so cold my fucking nose hairs froze. That's cold. Check it out:
And for about a month I've been reading Nero Wolfe novels at work because it's so dead. I've read 12. In a month. Holy shit.. I just realized how pathetic that is.
And now I've gotten to the point in the post where I realize that I've run out of things to say.. but I try to keep it going, to keep writing, because sometimes I remember things that way, and some of my best stuff comes out of when I just start writing the first thing that pops into my mind, like that infamous Wal*Mart story from my old blog that I still go back and read sometimes when I need a good chuckle. But sometimes just typing randomly leads to nothing except more inane randomness..
like now..
so I'll stop.
Holy BALLS! Look at this video! Apparently, there's this guy called Isotksh that plays Super Mario World to music, using the game's build-in sound to match the beats. When the music starts mashing up tempo, the gameplay does the same. This is 11 minutes of Korean insanity, ONLY THEY COULD GET THIS RIGHT! At first, I thought they had obviously written the song around the gameplay, but then, 6 minutes and 7 seconds in, I started hearing Dr. Wily's 1 Stage song from Megaman 2. And then the world stopped. Watch, and be amazed.
